300

Its 3:00am. I look at the clock and find my mind drifting back to a period that took place over a decade ago. It was the year 1999 and I had just enrolled into a military academy. Elementary school was a now a thing of the past. It was time to start a life that was totally different from the preceding one. This was when I, as a lone ranger, would become a leader.

The military fascinated me. I would always hear the elders of my family talk about it  because a lot of them were military veterans. Haha, I remember when I would be at my grandma’s house. Every time she would see the neighborhood kids and young adults act a fool outside, she would always whisper under her breath that they need to be put in military school. I suppose somehow this gave me the notion that if I went to military school I would be respected from not only her, but from others. Persevering through such an academy would show discipline, determination, and endurance. Something that most people couldn’t maintain. And that’s what was gonna make me special. I was 11 years old; overweight, a pushover, bullied, and the list goes on and on. I knew that joining a military academy meant that I would be leaving my friends from elementary school: everything I had. I felt that it was worth it.

The summer before joining the academy I put myself through my own training. I organized my own strict diet, made up my own strenuous calisthenics exercise plans, cut my hair down low, and did my best to prepare myself mentally. I had no clue what this new atmosphere would be like. But when it came to the first day, I couldn’t keep my composure. It became a tradition at my house that my mom would always take my picture on the first day of school. I had one of the biggest frowns on my face that day. This wasn’t the first time though. I believe my smile started to decline at 4th grade. But knowing that I was leaving all of my friends and comfort, it made me even sadder on this day.

So I’m finally a cadet at the academy. This was the first time I ever rode a bus to school so I was nervous. I always sat kinda close to the front to be away from everyone. Most of the kids were in the back of the bus. I didn’t talk to anyone. Eventually, a few people started bothering me. It soon led into being bullied. Pokemon was big at the time and I’d carry some of my cards to school only to get them taken away by these dudes. They used to take my school supplies. I’d also just get hit randomly because they thought it was fun. I never told the bus driver because I felt that they’d only get mad at me and beat me worse when their punishment was over. I also didn’t want anyone hating me because I already didn’t have any friends and I wasn’t good at making friends either. 

So I’d enter school already bruised up and aching on some days. Every morning there would be battalion drills in the courtyard. A lot of yelling, marching, and physical training. We were out there in the hottest and coldest of weather. I just felt so lost among the hundreds of people that were outside. I tried to hide within my Company so I wouldn’t draw attention to myself. I’d get all the way in the back if I could. Once inside the building, the environment always seemed much more stressful to me than the other kids. Everyone would be playing around, getting into trouble, but I took the whole place much more serious. I actually got stressed many times. You know me, the over-analyzer. I made two friends my first year. One of them was a guy I met in band class. He was cool, popular among our class and easy to get along with. The other guy was someone I felt I related to. He was overweight and got teased a lot for that and other things. I believe me and this other guy were his only friends.

I made the rank of Private my first year like the majority of people in my class. We were all basically at the bottom of the pile. None of us had that the authority to do anything. As time passed, I felt that I had to make the best of my new setting. You know those two people that were bullying me on the bus? Well, I started fighting back. Soon we were head-to-head, throwing punches at each other on a regular basis. Everyday I’d have bruises and scars but at least now they’d have some too. I was injuring them just as much as they were injuring me but they stopped eventually. I suppose this was because I became too persistent in fighting back. We even became friends, not close friends, but friends by the end of my first year. I ended up winning the Soaring Eagle Award for being the top cadet of that year for my class.

12 years old now. I pushed myself hard to lose more weight the summer before my second year the academy. I started to develop acne and my voice cracked. My voice became the laughing stock to everyone who knew of me. Frequently, I would get an embarrassing high pitched squeak in my speech (This lasted until I was 15). A lot of people didn’t take me seriously because of this. My old bullies no longer attended the academy but I still had my 2 old friends. Through my exceptional discipline and good grades, I made the rank of Corporal that year (Just one step above being a Private.) Some cadets escalated beyond Corporal and into Sergeant and Staff Sergeant. These people had authority when it came to the morning battalion lineup. 

I began to participate with people during our recess period opposed to just walking around in my lonesome like the previous year. I played basketball in the courtyard on the regular. I participated in this thing called Fight Club to toughen myself up. Some of us boys would congregate in the restroom closest to the cafeteria at lunchtime and would have own boxing matches. We’d get in trouble if caught so we’d hurry to the stalls and pretend like we were using the restroom if the security guard came in. I had a few matches. I never had in fights in my life before coming to this academy. I’d walk away with bruises, looking like I came out of battle at times; bleeding and all. I enjoyed it. I won the Soaring Eagle Award for a second time that year.

By the third year, 13 years old, I started distancing myself a little more. People around me were changing and it seemed like I wasn’t as worthy to hang around them anymore. But through my excellence in my previous years, the academy officials appointed me to Lieutenant Colonel. They said my name on the intercoms throughout the academy and I could here people cheering throughout the halls. I didn’t know many people even knew who I was. And there were some who heckled me because they were jealous of my position. My position was now to lead the battalion. What did that mean? That meant I led the academy. I led the 300-something cadets of the building. My rank made me equal to that of a teacher. The principal was the Commander, the assistant principal was the Colonel, and I was the Lieutenant Colonel. I was so depressed during this time in my life that I didn’t even show a sign of happiness once I heard my name called for the position. I still tried to hide it though. I just sank down in my seat and continued to do whatever school work that I was doing beforehand. My position was to uphold up the rules and get the cadets in order so that required a lot of yelling others. My voice deepened but it still squeaked. I brought order in my voice when I yelled which was something very new to me. Even though I was the highest among cadets, I never used my power like the previous leaders. I’d let some people slide if I saw them acting up in a casual setting and I always waited in line properly during the morning metal detector line. Some leaders in the past abused their authority by walking over others. Some held personal vendettas that they acted upon once achieving higher rank. Me, I didn’t care for all that stuff. The first-year cadets looked up to me like I was so great. They all aspired to be where I was. The teachers would talk about me being a great role model. I just saw myself still as a shy guy that wanted to make more friends and just have a normal school experience. Once again, I won the Soaring Eagle Award that year making me the only person in the decades of history of the school to achieve the award all 3 years.

I accumulated dozens of medals, trophies, and plaques during my time at the academy. I never thought that going into the academy as a shy preteen that I would finish my tenure the way I did.  It shows you that God doesn’t necessarily call the qualified, but that He qualifies the called. He builds a path for the chosen. I had to leave the little comfort that I had in elementary school in order for God to build my character in order to lead. I came in those doors for the first time feeling like a lost cause. I never knew that I would be the best leader the school has ever seen. I didn’t act like, look like, or sound like the typical person you would look for in that position. But I was in that position. I went from hiding in the battalion to standing on the pedestal to lead the very thing I used to hide from. I went from being a pushover to pushing people into order. Don’t ever let the world bring you doubt because of the way you look, act, or sound. My story won’t line up with your life but I know that you can pull something from my experiences and apply it to your life. Continue to push on because God has a plan for you.

And I know one day I will lead again…